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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28619508">Bad Day</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/androgynousclintbarton/pseuds/androgynousclintbarton'>androgynousclintbarton</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bad depression day, Depressed Kakashi, Gai is the best kind of boyfriend, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:01:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>951</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28619508</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/androgynousclintbarton/pseuds/androgynousclintbarton</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kakashi's certain it's supposed to get easier. The pain was supposed to go away when he started to date Gai.<br/>That's what so many people had told him would happen. He'd find happiness and he'd be ok.<br/>He's not ok.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hatake Kakashi/Maito Gai | Might Guy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>105</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Bad Day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="">
  <p>It’s bad.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Not as terrible as some of the days he has had, but worse than every other day this week. Getting out of bed is a struggle, he balks at the thought of crawling into the shower even though he knows that he needs one, and the effort required to cook himself breakfast is just too much.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It doesn’t make any sense.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He thought it would get better. That’s what so many people had told him growing up. Find something that makes you happy and you’ll be ok. It’ll get better.</p>
  <p>He found Gai. Gai had admitted his feelings for him, they were a couple. It's supposed to be better.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It’s not better.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>There’s still a heavy feeling deep inside of his soul. One that won’t go away no matter how hard he tries to think of all of the good things in his life. No matter how often he thinks of Gai.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Waking up beside Gai.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Kissing Gai.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Being able to love Gai.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It’s supposed to hurt less, but it doesn’t. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>His thoughts are spiraling. Images of his father, Obito, and Rin assaulting his mind. All of his losses. His biggest mistakes. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Stop it,” he scolds himself, fingers curling into short silver hair and tugging. A poor attempt to center himself, but he has nothing else. Nothing that wouldn’t be less painful at least. “Good thoughts, Kakashi. Good thoughts.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>No matter how hard he tries, he can’t come up with any good thoughts. Nothing that stays for longer than a second before being overridden by that familiar crushing feeling of guilt and hurt. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Rival?” Lifting his head, he watches as the door to his apartment opens slowly. Had there been a knock on the door that he missed? Gai rarely ever entered without waiting for Kakashi to open the door. “I know you’re in here. Your shoes are still outsi-”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>As soon as his eyes find Kakashi sitting on the small bed, knees tucked against his chest and hands still in his hair, he stops in his tracks. Taking a moment to examine the situation in front of him, he closed the door behind him carefully and turns to Kakashi with a bright smile.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The type of smile that could turn a terrible day good. There’s always a warm feeling the blooms in his chest whenever Gai smiles at him like that, pushing away all of the worst feelings and making him feel wanted.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Maybe even loved.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Today, it barely touches the pain deep inside of him. It’s not the first time that smile has failed to make him feel the way it usually does, not by a long shot, but part of him is still convinced that it should have worked.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The smile that could heal a thousand broken hearts, but can’t make him feel a little less terrible on his worst day. What a waste of such perfection.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What would you like for breakfast?” The question catches him off guard. Was Gai really offering to make him breakfast? Was he…planning to stick around?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You’re not obligated to babysit me,” he doesn’t want to say it out loud, but the words slip from his mouth anyways and the hurt gets a little bit worse when he see’s a sad look in Gai’s eyes. “You have better things to do. I’ll be fine i just need…”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He’s not sure what the answer is. What does he need? Is there anything that could make today better? That can take away the pain.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You need food,” Gai insists, a smile still plastered on his face, but a little softer now. “And i have time. Morning training with my team is done and Tsunade-sama doesn’t have a mission for us at the moment, so i’m all yours today.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Food doesn’t sound like the worst idea. Honestly, the more than he thinks about it the hungrier he feels. He’s pretty sure the last time that he ate was when he was out with Team Seven at Ichiraku Ramen yesterday.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>At lunch time.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Breakfast sounds great,” he whispered, resting his head on top of his knees and watching as Gai makes his way towards him. “You want me to get out of bed?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“We can talk while I cook,” Gai insistes, holding a hand out towards him. “You can say no of course. You don’t have to get out of bed.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Part of him wants to say no. There’s a distinct lack of energy reserved for walking, or even making small talk. After a few minutes he’s certain he’ll feel completely drained.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Still, he reaches out and take’s Gai hand. Allows his Rival to help him off of the bed and into a tight, warm embrace.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He doesn’t feel any better. Not deep inside his soul, not yet.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>But standing here with Gai’s warm arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders holding him close, he knows he will. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Maybe not today, or even tomorrow.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>But at some point he’ll feel better. He always does.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>And when that time come’s he’ll make sure to make Gai the best curry he has ever tasted.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It’s the least he can do. A silent ‘thank you’ for all the things he’s always doing for him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I love you,” he buries his face into Gai’s chest as he whispers those three simple words and takes a deep breath. Sweat and dango. A familiar scent that instantly relaxes his shoulders.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Safe.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He’s safe here in Gai’s arms. Always has been and always will be.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It’s the one constant in his life that he dares to let himself rely on. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The only thing that makes days like today just a tad bit easier, even if it doesn’t take away the pain.</p>
</div>
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